275px-Larry Quinn

Lawrence "Larry" Quinn is the main antagonist in the 2003 live-action film, Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat. He is the Waldens' greedy next-door neighbor and Joan Walden's ex-boyfriend who is determined to both marry Joan for her wealth and get rid of her son, Conrad, by sending him to military school.

He is portrayed by Alec Baldwin.


Larry is secretly overweight and appears to lack teeth. He has black hair and also has a lot of it on his chest and stomach.

Larry first wore a purple suit with matching pants. He wore white dress shoes, vanilla tie, and a white collar with his suit. He once wore glasses. Larry uses this outfit to appear as a businessman and ideal boyfriend in Joan's eyes, hoping to sponge off her and her fortune.

Later on and for the rest of the movie, Larry wears a dark green jacket, mostly unzipped with a white tank-top underneath, and yellow sweats. Under the undershirt is a girdle when he is in public. He wars black shoes. This outfit was covered in purple goo near the end of the film.


Larry is first introduced when he returns Nevins, the Waldens' dog who escaped due to Conrad's stunts. While his sister, Sally, and mother, Joan, were fond of Larry, Conrad is disdainful of Larry, calling him Larry (a nickname the latter dislikes). Larry suggests sending Conrad to military school to straighten his behavior. Joan declines, thinking it wouldn't be right for Conrad. In a hushed voice, Larry states his "understanding" about the stress she has of doing her job and raising her children before instantly explaining the military school for Conrad. Before Joan responds, the phone rings and she leaves to answer, much to Quinn's dismay.

Conrad, having heard the exchange, angrily proclaims that he wasn't going to military school. In a hissing voice, Larry responds by saying that he doesn't like him. He displays his arrogance by verbally abusing Conrad while complimenting himself and explaining his plot. Just when he was about to berate Conrad some more for calling him Larry, he reverts to his docile demeanor when he senses Joan is in hearing range. Larry leaves, claiming to have a business meeting. As Joan left for her office, she wishes Larry luck with his job. But as soon as Joan left, the man exited his yellow convertible and hastily reentered his home, monitored by Conrad.

Later on, Larry visited the Walden household. He witnessed Conrad and Sally jumping on the living room couch. As Sally explained she was telling Conrad to get off the couch, Larry merely told her that she is a "suck-up" and just as bad as Conrad. His true nature shown to Sally, he then left to raid the fridge without the children's permission, making a sandwich and carrying bottles of beer.

Larry displayed his poor manners by belching in the kids' faces, merely saying "good bread". Little did he know, the children had a guest: the Cat in the Hat. While the Cat was clinging from the ceiling to hide from Larry, he started scratching himself. This stirred Larry's cat allergies, who started sneezing uncontrollably from the dander. Larry then urgently left the house, repeatedly sneezing to Conrad and Sally's amusement.

Larry's real profession is revealed. He is a lazy unemployed slob with fake teeth and a large gut concealed with a girdle. He is in financial ruin and lives in a pigsty, sitting around his home watching television. This is why he wants to marry Joan for her money. When his television set is just taken by a repo men after he desperately tried to bribe, Larry notices that Nevins is loose again. He immediately calls Joan, who is wary of the news. Sleazy Quinn vainly compliments himself, assuring that he'll retrieve the dog because he's "perfect" and brings up his offer about placing Conrad in the military academy he previously mentions. Joan is still hesitant on the idea, stating her son was like Larry, very sensitive, which her grotesque boyfriend responds to while picking his nose - disgusted with someone like Conrad being compared to him. But the workaholic woman reluctantly decides she should consider the idea. Larry just flatly replies he'll be right over with the dog before quickly hanging up. This callous response causes Joan to mistrust Larry and question his motives. After hanging up on her, Larry is drilling his bloated belly and passing gas.

Getting dressed, Larry tracks down Nevins and kidnaps the dog. He joyfully sings about getting rid of Conrad. But Nevins spoils his celebration by urinating on his taco, much to his disgust and outrage. Arriving in town square, he gloats to Nevins that when Joan sees the latter got out again, she will send her son and pet away while Larry moves in as her husband, gleefully laughing at this prospect. Before he can enter the office, the Cat, disguised as a hippie, gets him to sign a petition with an over-sized pen. This lets the humanoid feline gain possession of the dog. He and kids run away with Larry in hot pursuit. They lose him in a party club in a telephone booth. With the three nowhere in sight, Quinn reports to Joan, convincing her to check the house.

Larry repeatedly rushes Joan to hurry, eager to get her kids in trouble. Joan becomes annoyed with Larry's nagging. Before they can get any further to the neighborhood, they're pulled over by Thing 1 & 2, disguised as police officers. Seeing the sight of his car, Quinn urges Joan to continue, only to be hushed. Refusing to allow Conrad, Sally, Joan, or the Things to spoil his plans, Larry takes matters into his own hands and hijacks the police motorcycle, telling his girlfriend to meet him at her home. This behavior leaves Joan even more doubtful.

Larry ambushes Sally and Conrad as they are about reenter their home. Sadistically relishing the trouble the two will be in with their mother, he orders them into the house, ignoring Conrad's warning. They enter to find the house surprisingly tidy. Larry's cat allergies act up, hinting the presence of the Cat. Larry is startled by the sight of an enormous cat, sneezing while uttering "Y-You're a giant.....CAT!!!". As he staggered backwards, he revealed the illusion of Mother of All Messes. The pompous neighbor then plummeted to his death into a purple sea.

Quinn was revealed to have survived the fall after Conrad restored the house. The deadbeat is flushed out of the house's bowels, completely covered in purple goo. As he recovers, a last dose of slime splatters on his face, much to his disgust.

Joan enters her home to be welcomed with warm greetings before startled from behind by a greeting whisper from an incensed Larry, bewildered at her boyfriend's slimy appearance. Seething in anger, he tells her that the house was sentient, the walls were paper, he fell from a cliff, and hysterically of the Cat. But Joan finds it all hard to believe as the house is neat and clean. Seeing it was now or never, Larry tries to make Joan enroll Conrad in military school, reminding her of his recklessness and asking who's side she'll take. She calmly stated that while Conrad makes irresponsible decisions that make her want to rip off her hair, he is a good kid and she believed in him. She then politely told her ex-boyfriend to leave. Larry can only whimper Joan's name as she tears the military school pamphlet and places it on his sticky chest, causing him to break down crying on his knees. He then catches a sneeze in his hands with snot trailing, the unsettling sight exposing his slovenly nature to Joan. Larry then asks for her hand in marriage, but the repugnant Joan responds by shutting him out, leaving him bawling. Sally and Conrad are elated that Quinn won't marry their mother.


Larry briefly appeared as humble and well-mannered. However, this was all fake as he is truly a greedy, cunning manipulator, trying to persuade Joan to send her disobedient son to a military school so that he can live from mooching off of her. As a result, he is very sleazy, immoral and self-indulgent. He also dislikes it when Conrad calls him Larry, which gives him an extra reason to berate him. He is also vain and arrogant, constantly complimenting himself and saying he's better than certain people, such as Conrad, even though he is a deadbeat. He is very self-centered and only cares for things when there is personal gain.

When seen his house, sleazy Larry was revealed to be a disgusting slob with poor hygiene. He also has very crude manners. He is too lazy to work for a living. As such, many of his items were repossessed. He has a huge appetite which led to weight gain. He did many gross things, such as burping, sticking his bellybutton, picking his nose, and farting.

Larry only wanted to marry Joan, to steal her money. Despite his laziness, he was incredibly ambitious, seeing anything as an opportunity. As his goals were looking fruitful, Larry became more callous, bossy and controlling towards Joan, having no empathy for her feelings about sending her child away and being domineering, urging her to hurry home. Whenever things didn't go his way, he takes drastic measures, often attempting to take advantage of Joan. When Joan broke up with him and canceled his plans for Conrad, he pathetically grovelled at her feet. When she slammed the door in his face after being grossed out, he was heard sobbing that his missed chance at wealth was gone.


  • Joan likely found out about Larry's sloppiness when he sneezed into his hands, judging by her face as she shuts the door. It's possible she was told of his raids in her fridge.
  • Conrad seems to know that Larry wasn't who he appeared to be. He called him a "total phony" and watched him pretending heading inside his house instead of to his fake job.
  • Quinn has dynamic interactions with Sally. They started out being on good terms, but Larry later reveals he was just taking advantage of her at first and actually hates her as much as he hates Conrad, and burps in her face. He also intends to get her in trouble along with Conrad with her mom.
  • Larry seems to survive off of Joan and her family. He once stole from her fridge while she wasn't home and without her children's permission.
  • Larry's hairstyles change in a few scenes. When in public, his hair is tame. But when in his house and covered in slime, it was unkempt.
  • When the Cat was disguised as a hippie, Quinn's allergies didn't stir.
  • Larry uses a girdle to look slimmer, which seems causes his big belly discomfort and pain, and uses false teeth that he stores in a glass.
  • Larry's home, although much larger than the Walden family's, is a pigsty, old food is on the tables and dirty laundry is on his couch and floors. It seems he hasn't payed the electric bill.
  • Larry seems to be overweight from eating and sitting around watching TV. His favorite program seems to be watching a woman named Mitzy Flynn.
  • He has wheezing laugh and hisses for drama.
  • He whimpers Joan's name when things don't go his way.
  • He has trophies in his room.
  • He owns and drives a yellow convertible, which repossessed in a deleted scene.
  • Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 10.03.27 pm
    In the deleted scenes, Larry encounters the repo men who took his television. He explains his greedy plot to the salesman and convinces him to give him a larger one, paying for it using Joan's money when they're married and placing it in Conrad's room when he's away. The salesman agrees and tells him good luck. He also finds the kids in there. After Joan rejected and locked him out of the Waldens' house, he tries to take his anger out on Nevins, who is inspecting a purple puddle of tar. However, he is humiliated further when the puddle mutates Nevins into a larger dog and tears his pants off and chases him through the neighborhood while repo men tow his car away.
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